GOING THE DISTANCE is too far for comfort

I kept telling myself, okay, it is what it is, and it works on some level. I wanted to believe, Justin Long and Drew Barrymore have chemistry, and the two leads can save the tiresome string of profane one-liners. I’m going to go easy on it. It’s fun and friendly and appeals to your average moviegoer. Forget it, halfway through, I changed my mind. That’s it! I’m going to rip this film a new one. Going the Distance is a formulaic piece of mediocre garbage. I didn’t laugh. I swear, not once. Not even the faintest smile. This is your average, goofy comedy; nothing romantic about it, nothing comedic about it. The dialogue is so geared to the one-liners, I kept wondering, are these actors trying for improvisation, or did someone actually write this? What this script needed, since it didn’t want to work the romantic angle, was a golden comedic talent, such as Will Ferrel, Steve Carrel, or Tina Fey. Sure, Christina Applegate is a wonderful comic actress, but the jokes are worse than eating a bag of stale corn nuts. The humor is so sophomoric they might as well change it to a Van Wilder sequel. What the film is about? Well, you know, boy meets girl, boy likes girl, girl likes boy, their distance gets in the way, and well, they work it out somehow. I’ve seen this kind of formula before, so many times. Every now and then, the performances and humor can rise above the material, but in this case, the formula outweighs the talent. The only way this film would've worked is if the love affair seemed real on-screen. I wasn’t sold by the chemistry between the two leads, even if they are dating in real life. So, consequently, the rest of the film can’t work, and doesn’t. A goofy bore, that’s all I can say. Save your money and rent 500 Days of Summer (2009) , which is a playful, refreshing romantic comedy; a sincere observation of an offbeat relationship. 500 Days of Summer is the opposing force of studio trash like Going the Distance. There, I feel better. * (out of four stars)