NO STRINGS ATTACHED is just another mediocre romantic hit

             Some might say that this is the perfect date movie. Lets look at the equation; two good looking stars, feather-light material, raunchy content, and the occasional penis jokes must be the new formula to get the 20-something couples back into the theater, rather than download movies via Netflix. While I was watching the R-rated romantic comedy in a packed house, I was surprised to see majority of the audience laughing. I didn’t laugh once, just smirked at the utter cuteness of the two leads, Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher.

Gross-out comedies and sex romps are dependent on a very crucial element; what’s the most embarrassing situation we can put the characters in? I’m not going to lie; this kind of scenario is the key to fine comedy. Remember when Ben Stiller got his scrotum stuck in his zipper in There's Something About Mary (1998) Do you remember dying of laughter when they cut to a close-shot of the unfortunate accident? How about when Joe Pesci showed up to court wearing a 19^th century velvet red tuxedo in My Cousin Vinny ( 1991)—now that’s comedy. 
What probably turned me off about No Strings Attached was the predictable plot and how tame the embarrassing situations were. I’m sorry, but the writers could’ve done much better than seeing a frantic Natalie Portman gorging donut holes, smearing the powder all over her face, or Ashton Kutcher waking up naked on a strange couch.

In the film, the two leads reach an arrangement to engage in a strictly sexual relationship. You know what--I think that particular scenario has a lot of room for side-splitting and inventive humor. It truly does, but since you know what kind of movie you’re walking into before the credits appear, you know they’re going to fall in love at the end. Another raunchy comedy that came out last year, Love and other Drugs (2010), contains a similar love/hate relationship, and I enjoyed the characters struggles until the tacked-on happy ending. Now, I’m not degrading happy endings. I love to feel uplifted after a movie, but why do the two star-crossed lovers always have to end up together where one is literally racing after the other when you know they could’ve called or sent a text message?

Studio romantic comedies are hit or miss these days. Sometimes, the filmmakers will try for inventiveness and still create something with mass appeal. The rest of the bunch are just thinking of mass appeal, and the finished product feels like it was manufactured on the basis of last years top grossing romantic comedy.

** (out of four)